Long-standing readers might wonder at the title of this post. Before you say, hey, Gwenfar has been talking about Gardening with ME for ages, here’s why this I’ve titled this ‘an introduction’. I am now writing a quarterly Gardening with ME article for the ME Association’s ME Essential magazine, and the first one, which was an introduction, is now in print! Woo! So the plan is to add each article, once it has been published in print, to then publish on my website (as it’s usually only available in print form). So in case you’ve wondered about why I garden with ME, here goes…
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I want to be in the garden. I’ve got some plants that need planting, and I need to do some weeding. I’ve also got some pieces of ginger I got from the supermarket that I want to pot up and try growing in my greenhouse. Oh, and the garlic needs watering. I want to be amongst the plants, fingers in the soil, encouraging growth and blooms. However, it’s not happening today. Today I have to rest. Probably tomorrow too. Gardening with ME is a very slow process.
To say I love plants would be a massive understatement. Can’t sleep at night? I’m probably thinking about plants. Plans for borders, layouts for bulbs that need planting. I confess to being an addict. I’ve been gardening for about 25 years, starting not long after I moved to the UK from Australia in 1998. I didn’t have ME when I started. That came later. In the beginning, I shared an allotment with a friend, and started small borders filled with ornamental plants at home.
Over the years we moved to bigger houses with bigger gardens. I got to the point where I was about six months self-sufficient in growing my own food, both at home and at allotment. This was whilst working full time, having a busy activist life, seeing friends and traveling, etc.
Then I got ME. For me it was slow-onset ME, and it took years to work out what was wrong. Along the way, I kept trying to grow my own food. Having an allotment was too much, so I gave that up. We moved a couple of more times, each time I had lots of plans for the garden. Each time I found it harder to do everything I wanted to do. I worked less, until I had to stop work completely. But with all my might, I hung onto gardening. It is a lifeline that gives me immense joy and meaning.
Having to face up to my limitations in all areas of my life has been hard, but it has been hardest with gardening. In recent years, I decided to stop growing most vegetables, apart from mainly garlic and salads. Most (though not all) food growing can require a lot of time and energy. So, it made sense to cut that back, and just focus on growing ornamental plants. But I didn’t think about the fact that I needed to cut back on growing these too. It’s been a case of trial and error. A process of grief of giving up so much, but also finding the love in what I can still manage.
It’s been a difficult road, and I have had to come to terms with the fact that the last couple of gardens were too big for me, and that I needed to think smaller.
The front garden of my current home was just grass when we arrived, and I had plans to mostly remove the grass and add several different hot borders, with lots of cheerful reds, yellows and oranges. I started with a long border following the outside edge of the garden and planned a succession of bright colour from late winter through to the beginning of summer. The daffodils and tulips bulbs were planted in drifts moving from white, creams and yellows, to oranges and reds. It really lifts my spirits to see the colour at this time of year, and feedback suggests it’s been a hit with the neighbours. However, with the perennial plants in this border, it’s been a harder slog. The soil is very heavy clay and cracks badly in summer, much worse than I originally thought, and this has affected the growth of a few plants, and some have died. After soul searching, I’ve shelved my plans for further borders for now, and instead will focus using the limited energy I have, getting this border right, with happy, healthy plants. Once it is right and IF I have the spoons, I’ll start the next phase.
The back garden is smaller and is more contained than the front garden. The first two of three phases of landscaping have been done, and I have a beautiful glass greenhouse, raised beds for the garlic and salads, and a few ornamental beds. The colour palette is softer, more pinks, purples and greens, which creates a relaxing space. We added a table and chairs, and it’s a peaceful place to sit. It feels warm, like a hug, when I feel up to meeting with friends there. I’m putting off the final phase of the work until next year. I want to just enjoy what I have, before adding more.
I cannot encourage people enough that it’s ok to accept help, including in the garden. I’m fortunate enough to be able to afford a gardener, and after trial and error, found Kathryn, who comes regularly, knows about plants, and is happy to work with me. If you cannot afford help, it’s ok to ask friends, partners, maybe even members of a community who might be looking for a garden to work in, if they don’t have one. For a lot of people, doing the work in the garden is reward enough. But you can also offer things like bunches of blooms, a little food, and free plants. Just remember, even if you get help, you do need to factor in giving directions to those helping. Sometimes that can use up a surprising amount of energy, though not as much as doing it all yourself.
Gardening is work, there is no getting away from that. The only no maintenance garden is no garden. The lowest maintenance is still going to require some work. Even if just a few pots, they need watering, checking health of plant occasionally, and most container grown plants are going to require repotting every couple of years, so the plants get new nutrients from soil. Hence, it’s important to be realistic about what you can do.
Gardening with ME is an ongoing process of learning. It’s about accepting limits, making the right kind of plant choices, growing those that require less attention, and therefore spoons, and exploring what you can grow in smaller spaces. There are ups and downs, and I’ll be honest about my mistakes, and the difficulties I face. But there is also a lot of pleasure. The colour, the fragrance (though you can go fragrance free if that’s an issue), the connection to nature, including the wildlife that gardening attracts, from hoverflies, to the naughty squirrel who’s at the bird feeder again, and whose acrobatics make me laugh. Honestly, I cannot see that I could ever give it up. It not only gives me life, it is my life and heart’s joy. So, join me, in my adventures in Gardening with ME.